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Embracing the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Embracing the good, the bad, and the ugly got inspired by Patricia Opio’s book, This Is Me, which I recently finished reading. I was so engrossed in the book that I wrote the review on Monday. You can check it out here.

I read the book several times because I could not comprehend how words could provide such comfort. I could not imagine that something is so brilliantly written could have such an impact on me. It should serve as proof of the power of words. Patricia is a fantastic storyteller. Many of us could relate to her because of the way she expressed her experience.

Who am I? What am I here for?’ But it needed to start with me accepting myself: my good, my bad, and my ugly.

It is not easy, to be honest with our life’s realities, the good, the bad, and the ugly. It is one of the most challenging things you will ever face. Imagine telling the world about your past transgressions and all the heinous things you have done. It’s not as straightforward as that. I realized that as painful as it is, it is necessary. It is required if I want my power back. I needed to let it all out if I wanted to be free.

I recall keeping my dropping out of school a secret from my family.

It’s humorous now, but it wasn’t funny back then. I believe I was able to keep the secret for nearly a year. I decided to tell them since I was not free and not improving when I recognized the harm it had caused me. My life had become stagnant, and all I desired was to be liberated. I did not start picking up the pieces of my own mistakes and letting it all out until I told them I had dropped out of school. I subsequently re-registered to finish my degree, and they provided me with all of the necessary assistance.
And guess what?

I got my power and independence back. My past actions no longer held me back. They had no control over me. By exposing my fear, humiliation, and embarrassment to the light, rather than hiding it in the closet, where it ate me alive, I overcame my fear and humiliation. I allowed myself to be broken gracefully.

This is the place you reach when after years and years of trials and difficulties, you see that all has been working out for your good and that God’s will is perfect. You see that he has made no mistakes”

Evelyn Christenson (quoted from This Is Me)

God is good, and no matter what you have been through, he hasn’t made any mistakes. See his sovereignty and, above all, his unending love. He does not make mistakes, and I have personally experienced his unfailing love.

It’ll be a long journey ahead of us. A long voyage. I’m hoping that we’ll trust the discovery process and dive deep into those dark places. I’m hoping we’ll be able to afford the luxury of shining our lights. It doesn’t matter how depressing our stories were or are. Weeping may last all night but joy comes in the morning. As you mend and break free, accept every dark corner in your life.

The amount of freedom that comes with being true and real to ourselves is unmatched. In your freedom, be the best version of yourself. You must realize that you have a tremendous amount of strength within you, and you should stop at nothing to achieve anything you want and fully live a purposeful life. A meaningful life will necessitate you telling all of your stories and fully embracing them. All your previous blunders and embarrassing aspects of your life. Be ready to let go of the things you did not want anyone to know about and break free from any enslavement as you make peace with the fact that you are human.

To Patricia, the author of This Is Me
With tears in my eyes, chille!!
I am sitting here thinking about everything you have been through, and all I want to do is give you a big embrace.
Allow me to weep… Chile!!!
When we meet, I am looking forward to giving you a warm, tight hug. I believe I should fast-track my visit to see you and the rest of the Afrobloggers family.

I recommend that you read This Is Me by Patricia Opio.
She is a real woman, a brilliant storyteller, and a deep communicator of emotions. If you are interested in her writings, please visit her blog, This is Me blog which will undoubtedly leave you speechless. The book is currently available for purchase on Amazon.


What are your thoughts on embracing the good, bad, and, ugly of our lives?
Let me hear on the comments section. I would love to read your thoughts.

From a heart to yours

This Post Has 16 Comments

  1. Evidence Mutumbu

    I am about to finish the book .I was challenged by the way she disclosed things that have such high levels of stigmatization.
    Sensitive topics that can easily reduce your status in the society but i realized that indeed she took back her power and she can have her narrative not gossip

    1. Lebogang Shazzygal Malatji

      Ohh so glad you are reading it mate. It’s one of those books which will leave you awestruck. It’s captivating and challenging. She really dived deep and poured herself out. I honestly learned a lot from her.
      Is not easy to embrace the good, the bad, and the ugly, but it’s necessary.

  2. Happy Panda

    So proud of you for going back and finishing your degree. 👏❤️
    I’ve been lucky to have parents who have supported my every crazy decision – so I had their support when I decided to take a gap year after school to give my engineering entrance exams again. If I hadn’t, i wouldn’t have been able to make it.
    Whenever I think about getting my independence back, I think of my ex. Even after our break-up he kept fucking with my head, till I finally gathered the courage and told him off. Feels really good to take that power back from him.
    The book seems really inspiring. Kudos to the author!

    1. Lebogang Shazzygal Malatji

      Thank you so much, sissy
      It was the best thing to do. I’m glad I wasn’t doing it for anyone but me and I recovered my power back. I admire the way you always speak about your parents. They are the epitome of an ideal support structure.

      Letting go is not easy. It’s very difficult. Amd what I’ve realized is that once you do it, you are a gone gone girl. You become restored and you regain your power back. I’m glad you finally let go of him.

  3. Pooja G

    Loved the post and it got me very curious about the book. I will most definitely check it out.

    I think it’s difficult for us to sometimes take the bad and ugly with the good because it can be very painful but it’s best in the long run to accept ourselves exactly as we are- bad and ugly included. You made an awesome decision to go back and finish your degree. Well done.

    1. Lebogang Shazzygal Malatji

      Thank you sis. You will not regret, believe me on this one.
      It’s not easy to accept the good, the bad and the ugly but necessary like you said. Andd I believe it’s a lifetime investment we can all give ourselves as we live a free life not attached a f held back by the dark sides of our lives.
      Thank you so much. It’s hard to juggle work, blogging and now school. Hahahaha chille. I think you have done well for yourself in terms of balance. How do you create time for everything that’s important to you??

      1. Pooja G

        Aww thanks. I think the key is to find a schedule that works for you and always remember to take some “me time” so you’re not too exhausted. I got way to exhausted when I started working but I’m much better now.

        1. Lebogang Shazzygal Malatji

          Ohh I understand
          I think the reason I could not balance well my work and crazy schedule is because I have not been resting well. Thank you for this.

          1. Pooja G

            Yeah resting well is really important. My pleasure ☺

  4. seankfletcher

    I think it is always amazing when someone else’s journey can have such a profound impact on our own life. Patricia’s story is brave and braver still that she has shared it. I like that you have put together two posts that show the impact her story has had on you. Embracing the good, the bad and the ugly of ourselves is such a great way to describe how we can set ourselves free.

    My challenge has always been agonising over making a decision. Once I make that decision though, I tell those who need to be told and then act on it. When I made the decision to walk away from being an undergraduate, my parents without hesitation said that’s okay. Many years later, when I completed two post graduate qualifications, they couldn’t have been happier.

    About four years ago, I facilitated a workshop on governance with a key industry board and training organisation where I live and actually delivered a session on, and yes, it was called – The Good, The Bad and The Ugly! Apart from that, I thought I would leave you with the Danish National Orchestra’s version of Ennio Morricone’s wonderful score from one of my favourite Clint Eastwood movies “The Good, The Bad and The Ugly” 😊:

    1. Lebogang Shazzygal Malatji

      Thank you for your mouthful and profound comment. Embracing the good, the bad and the ugly is very important because it’s another way to process our own past in order to heal and to move on.

      You have been my number one inspiration when it comes to Educational success. Your story has me thinking and believing that I can achieve anything I want in my life. You are the epitome of hard work, determination and resilience. Thank you so much for your service.
      Yohh I will definitely check the video. Thank you so much.

      4years ago?? That was a long time ago and you still remember. How was the workshop??

  5. Wise Hearted

    I am leaving you post and heading over to and ordering this book. I could use some inspiration. Thanks for posting about this read. Blessings.

    1. Lebogang Shazzygal Malatji

      This is a great, I promise, you wont regret it. It’s one of those books which you do not read in one setting. It will challenge you and at times you will want to take some breaths to evaluate, and reflect.

  6. wilsonkatumba

    You are doing well to promote a sister’s work.
    You are a kind person.
    God bless you!

    1. Lebogang Shazzygal Malatji

      Thank you so much Wilson. This book impacted my life it was like an eye opener. Beautifully written. Thank you for your kind words

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